The main complaints for the Ombudsman - 61% NHS - what could improve this figure . . .

As strong believers in '50/50 communication works every time whether it be for a human, an elephant, a dog, a horse, a sheep, a cat or indeed a cow, we actively try to encourage everyone we come across to use these extremely simple methods. 

This small post has been written to help and encourage others to use it as well and we hope that once you have started using it on a daily basis that many more living creatures will not feel so controlled, threatened or intimidated by the 'negative behavior of human kind whether via voice or physical actions.

This method does not promote; 

• '100/10 understanding'
• 'In the face' ordering
• 'Aggressive' behavior
• 'Domineering and intimidating conversations'
• 'Restraint'
• 'Bribery and corruption'
• 'An aggressive eye'
• 'Verbally threatening and loud language'
• 'Dictatorial leadership, decision making'
• 'Unhealthy diets'

This method does promote;

• 50/50 understanding and communication
• 'Kindness'
• 'Patience'
• 'Equal/fair and acceptable' decision making'
• 'Each individuals latent talents to come to the fore'
• 'Individual decision making'
• 'The ability for  all to ask and to communicate in a non threatening way in an acceptable environment.
• 'Turning negative actions/situations  in to positive actions/situations for all involved'
• 'Healthy foods for each individual'
• 'To walk their walk and talk their talk'

The beauty of these simple suggestions is that each of them immediately makes a difference to the suffering individual and once you start to use them on a daily basis, it becomes automatic therefore every individual you come across feels lighter, all thanks to the way you have communicated with them.

So what has an elephant picture got to do with either of the lists above . . . . .  well, it explains it in one, especially for those who would feel intimidated by standing along side such a large majestic creature (n.b. note this person is not standing in front, or behind but at the side - this being the only way that is totally non intimidating for the animal).

Let's just jump back to the human world for a moment, how many families and patients both 'long and short term' feel intimidated by some of the present methods of control used within the Social Care/Health Service or indeed other Professions, or how many patients feel intimidated by one person, or are given medication which often makes them feel intimidated by the methods used? or how many individuals are given medication that actually only freezes/pauses the problem until the medication is stopped rather than succeeding in grasping the issue wholeheartedly, and turning it around towards a more positive long term plan but ultimately in to a healthier future for the individual as an individual.

But the most concerning thing at the moment are the amount of people who feel so intimidated by others and Professions that they are too frightened to complain or just accept the negative behavior as part of the course. With this in mind, if everyone actually complained about the Service being given to their MP's or the Ombudsman's the statistics would probably sit closer to 80% rather than the stated 61%. 

So what other things within similar Professions have you perhaps noticed;

• An individual not being fed enough
• An individual being regularly dehydrated
• An individual regularly having urine infections
• An individual not being given sufficient personal hygiene attention
• An individual constantly having heel/bed sores
• An individual feeling frightened of Staff or one Member in particular 
• An individual who suddenly become introverted
• An individual suddenly becoming tearful.

To be honest, the list is endless and we are sure you could add many more things to this.

Whether an individual is in short term or  long term care, elderly or young each have a right to be treated with respect, and that right should be carried out no matter what. 

However, sadly, this does not happen all the time and that is when the going gets tough for Families and Friends as well as the person who is at the core of the temporary or full time issue.

In the first instance we would like every one to use and encourage our suggestions within others:

The only way forward for a happier life for all is ;

• 50/50 understanding and communication
• 'Kindness'
• 'Patience'
• 'Equal/fair and acceptable' decision making'
• 'Each individuals latent talents to come to the fore'
• 'Individual decision making'
• 'The ability for  all to ask and to communicate in a non threatening way and in an acceptable environment.
• 'Turning negative actions/situations  in to positive actions/situations for all involved'
• 'Healthy foods for each individual'
• 'To walk their walk and talk their talk'
• 'TLC'

However, if you feel you would like to complain about an issue we are going to insert a few links, some are lengthy to read but worth it. However, your first port of call should with be your own family or Carers to discuss and note down issues at hand. From there, with concrete evidence attached, create a letter or make an appointment with the Department the suffering individual is under or with. Await to see how they take the issues forward. If you are still unhappy about the situation then you could assess the following links. 

At the end of this attachment there is a list of addresses if you feel a complaint is needed against a unit for any form of mal-practice . . http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0048/00484268.pdf

or if you don't feel the service above has been acceptable try this one . 
http://www.nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk/YourRights/ComplimentsConcernsComplaints/Documents/NHSLothianMakingAComplaint.pdf

on top of these we would suggest you also write to your MP

Then an additional place to put a complaint in would be http://www.spso.org.uk/

Finally some interesting reading on the Ombudsman  http://us6.campaign-archive1.com/?u=41e2e1d946df995fb6cae48d9&id=70d22905dc

On behalf of many who will struggle in the future unless some of the present systems change, or for those who are presently struggling, we all need to help make the world more accommodating for all. However, sometimes, sadly, this means that we need to put in some form of a complaint. 

Above all, please remember, everyone has had a past, has an interest, they have, like us all, worked hard, and each are happy to see and talk about the happy times and to be treated as you would like to be treated.

Living creatures are like a wall,

that sometimes crumbles and falls.

 It takes a builder, water and mortar 

to build that wall back up, 

but for a living creatures' fall

it takes a heart, silence and kindness, that's all. 

Thank you for taking time to read this post. 

Families, ageing parents,

Over the last number of years we have had the privilege of working with many wonderful people. Some of the issues we have covered have been to do with our ageing process and the worries that go along with the same for the families involved. Ultimately our main aim is bringing harmony and 50/50 understanding to all and making the sufferers life as contented as possible. 

Often there can be discord or family fall outs, or jealousies or the feeling that some members of the family do more than others. 

Often this is understood due to the mileage between them but what we sometimes forget is that the sufferer is silently missing these members greatly although just a small telephone conversation can fill this heart felt pain.

Often we have our own kids and end up running after them the majority of the time, when in fact just one weekend our of 5 or 6 we could have given up just to go and visit our own parents, remembering they are forever talking about us and indeed our children to who ever they come across on a daily basis, remembering that we are often their main interest now, and a daily topic of conversation for many, yet often weeks go by before a phone call or visit is made or your voice is heard. 

On that note, and having felt the pain of many wonderful older individuals, please can you make a bit more contact with your Parents or Grandparents, even if it is through a friends Skype programme or some other form of modern technology. Above all don't necessarily believe all that you hear from one of your parents as they may well be in denial about the true health of the other, or perhaps next time you are visiting you could 'accidentally' bump in to a friendly neighbour - they are sure to know what is going on, and might, if asked kindly, even give you regular updates.

On the other hand, if for some reason, only one of your parents seem to be answering the phone, please, make a point of visiting, perhaps there might be some form of  issue going on making the other feel unhappy or as if they are being controlled. 

Even if your parents have split and re-married you still have a right to see your own parent, even although some 'inlaws can make this awkward'. Every so often try and make a point of seeing your parent at least once every few months on their own, just to make sure they are okay. 

It is of course understood that some children just do not have contact with their parents at all - and for reasons they will only know, but for those who do still have contact perhaps this poem might help during troubled times. 

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any problems that you are finding difficult to resolve  as there is always a key to unlock all problems and for the ease of ageing these keys are imperative for their health and general well-being. Thank you. 

Some nights I stand at the oceans edge, 

with memories of happy days,

skimming stones and fishing bays 

with parents, siblings and friends around

Good days, bad days, fall out days and happy days,

even days when we would stumble and fall

but who was their? our parents with bandages and all.

Always food in the cupboards and on the table,

Clothes on our shoulders, shoes on our feet,

jackets to wear on those cold wintery days.

Lifts to school, or money for a bus,

or for the sports we wanted to play,

O weren't our parents so good to us.

They dedicated their lives to us

working hard to support our needs,

But often we forget they had their own history,

the inevitable pains, the hurt, the fear and their lives

to live as well as being parents to us. 

When the seed of adulthood grows within us

we fly the nest to start our Mission,

Our new found independence often takes over,

parties, freedom and the big wide world

sometimes makes the distance between us so much greater.

Until a life experience makes us stumble or quiver

and once again our parents came to the rescue

to encourage us, love us, support us

perhaps to reprimand for one or all.

But to be sure they are/were always there for us

no matter the age, issue or fall

How lucky we are to have them there for us.

Time goes on, perhaps a decade or two,

With perhaps a job secured, a marriage and kids.

Our parents, by this time have regained a life,

and mostly support our choice in life including our strife.

There comes a time when troubled bridges mend

but this can take a few years or a decade or two.

Regrets can be huge but love always returns in the end.

But time doesn't stand still for no man or you.

Our, once tall parents, seem smaller, more aged and frail

and all of a sudden role reversal is in front of you.

Frustration, irritation, denial and more 

can soon take over, with independence

and freedom and love being starved by all.

But if only understanding, acceptance and patience 

was encouraged instead of frustration, 

irritation, denial and more.

Our ageing relations held a place in Society for many a year, 

and stood their ground for us when we were there

For some, ill health comes along bringing many a fall

leaving their memory scattered from here to there,

forgetting the plates go in the cupboards standing tall

or the pans go in the cupboard o, so small

causing,for sure, much frustration for one and all.

We must remember for those we hold so dear 

patience, love and 50/50 understanding is the key

for all to follow, not anger, denial, dread or fear. 

Always remember, yesterday was yesterday and we must let it go,

tomorrow is tomorrow and today is today,

so please, come what may, accept the happenings of this day.

Some children can not cope with the change 

and choose to stay away, 

but it doesn't necessarily mean their love has gone.

Some children are stronger, more able to cope,

perhaps thanks to their experiences of life to date.

For others they suffer from regrets and guilt

perhaps because their visits were all too late.

Many a sufferer understands, but it doesn't take away the pain, 

that missing pain of the child who has gone astray, 

the one who doesn't seem to visit again.

But guaranteed your voice will be heard again

restoring the spirit and releasing that pain.

For many, you know you do your best 

for others who feel guilt and regret, let it be

you have your reasons, don't be ashamed,

maybe write a poem or letter and lay it all to rest.

Hold on to the memories, though perhaps troubled, happy or sad

but remember always you tried your best and that you are loved 

as much as you were from the day you were born. 

Please, don't live in yesteryears, take each day as it comes, 

embrace each smile and tiny expression

and welcome tomorrow as a brand new day.

Share laughter and the things remembered

acknowledge, quietly, each tiny expression.

Above all please accept each stage of illness

try hard not to shout or get frustrated,

you're the lucky one who can remember,

you're the one who can bring sunshine to a broken mind or heart,

you're the one who can, gently, introduce others to share your role 

guiding them to all dislikes and likes they know,

But be sure to choose the right person though,

or ask for a change if there's no connection

All this will alleviate pressure, which can, truly, be felt by all,

giving each a comforting break balancing out the 

sorely tempted denial, anger, fear and frustration,

resulting in contentment for one and all for ever. 

Nature's Physician