The main complaints for the Ombudsman - 61% NHS - what could improve this figure . . .

As strong believers in '50/50 communication works every time whether it be for a human, an elephant, a dog, a horse, a sheep, a cat or indeed a cow, we actively try to encourage everyone we come across to use these extremely simple methods. 

This small post has been written to help and encourage others to use it as well and we hope that once you have started using it on a daily basis that many more living creatures will not feel so controlled, threatened or intimidated by the 'negative behavior of human kind whether via voice or physical actions.

This method does not promote; 

• '100/10 understanding'
• 'In the face' ordering
• 'Aggressive' behavior
• 'Domineering and intimidating conversations'
• 'Restraint'
• 'Bribery and corruption'
• 'An aggressive eye'
• 'Verbally threatening and loud language'
• 'Dictatorial leadership, decision making'
• 'Unhealthy diets'

This method does promote;

• 50/50 understanding and communication
• 'Kindness'
• 'Patience'
• 'Equal/fair and acceptable' decision making'
• 'Each individuals latent talents to come to the fore'
• 'Individual decision making'
• 'The ability for  all to ask and to communicate in a non threatening way in an acceptable environment.
• 'Turning negative actions/situations  in to positive actions/situations for all involved'
• 'Healthy foods for each individual'
• 'To walk their walk and talk their talk'

The beauty of these simple suggestions is that each of them immediately makes a difference to the suffering individual and once you start to use them on a daily basis, it becomes automatic therefore every individual you come across feels lighter, all thanks to the way you have communicated with them.

So what has an elephant picture got to do with either of the lists above . . . . .  well, it explains it in one, especially for those who would feel intimidated by standing along side such a large majestic creature (n.b. note this person is not standing in front, or behind but at the side - this being the only way that is totally non intimidating for the animal).

Let's just jump back to the human world for a moment, how many families and patients both 'long and short term' feel intimidated by some of the present methods of control used within the Social Care/Health Service or indeed other Professions, or how many patients feel intimidated by one person, or are given medication which often makes them feel intimidated by the methods used? or how many individuals are given medication that actually only freezes/pauses the problem until the medication is stopped rather than succeeding in grasping the issue wholeheartedly, and turning it around towards a more positive long term plan but ultimately in to a healthier future for the individual as an individual.

But the most concerning thing at the moment are the amount of people who feel so intimidated by others and Professions that they are too frightened to complain or just accept the negative behavior as part of the course. With this in mind, if everyone actually complained about the Service being given to their MP's or the Ombudsman's the statistics would probably sit closer to 80% rather than the stated 61%. 

So what other things within similar Professions have you perhaps noticed;

• An individual not being fed enough
• An individual being regularly dehydrated
• An individual regularly having urine infections
• An individual not being given sufficient personal hygiene attention
• An individual constantly having heel/bed sores
• An individual feeling frightened of Staff or one Member in particular 
• An individual who suddenly become introverted
• An individual suddenly becoming tearful.

To be honest, the list is endless and we are sure you could add many more things to this.

Whether an individual is in short term or  long term care, elderly or young each have a right to be treated with respect, and that right should be carried out no matter what. 

However, sadly, this does not happen all the time and that is when the going gets tough for Families and Friends as well as the person who is at the core of the temporary or full time issue.

In the first instance we would like every one to use and encourage our suggestions within others:

The only way forward for a happier life for all is ;

• 50/50 understanding and communication
• 'Kindness'
• 'Patience'
• 'Equal/fair and acceptable' decision making'
• 'Each individuals latent talents to come to the fore'
• 'Individual decision making'
• 'The ability for  all to ask and to communicate in a non threatening way and in an acceptable environment.
• 'Turning negative actions/situations  in to positive actions/situations for all involved'
• 'Healthy foods for each individual'
• 'To walk their walk and talk their talk'
• 'TLC'

However, if you feel you would like to complain about an issue we are going to insert a few links, some are lengthy to read but worth it. However, your first port of call should with be your own family or Carers to discuss and note down issues at hand. From there, with concrete evidence attached, create a letter or make an appointment with the Department the suffering individual is under or with. Await to see how they take the issues forward. If you are still unhappy about the situation then you could assess the following links. 

At the end of this attachment there is a list of addresses if you feel a complaint is needed against a unit for any form of mal-practice . . http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0048/00484268.pdf

or if you don't feel the service above has been acceptable try this one . 
http://www.nhslothian.scot.nhs.uk/YourRights/ComplimentsConcernsComplaints/Documents/NHSLothianMakingAComplaint.pdf

on top of these we would suggest you also write to your MP

Then an additional place to put a complaint in would be http://www.spso.org.uk/

Finally some interesting reading on the Ombudsman  http://us6.campaign-archive1.com/?u=41e2e1d946df995fb6cae48d9&id=70d22905dc

On behalf of many who will struggle in the future unless some of the present systems change, or for those who are presently struggling, we all need to help make the world more accommodating for all. However, sometimes, sadly, this means that we need to put in some form of a complaint. 

Above all, please remember, everyone has had a past, has an interest, they have, like us all, worked hard, and each are happy to see and talk about the happy times and to be treated as you would like to be treated.

Living creatures are like a wall,

that sometimes crumbles and falls.

 It takes a builder, water and mortar 

to build that wall back up, 

but for a living creatures' fall

it takes a heart, silence and kindness, that's all. 

Thank you for taking time to read this post. 

Help all victims post . . .

Another find today . . . there are many reasons why humans can be so cruel, and there is a certain amount we can all put up with, but there is a limit as to how much our systems, our families and friends can cope with . . . try helping someone today towards a healthier lifestyle.

We are all put on this planet for a reason but abuse is not one of them.

If you know of anyone, young, middle aged or old, who is showing signs of distress, physical abuse or indeed mental abuse, please gently and quietly help them find a healthier path to walk.

On behalf of many - thank you

Bullying and Intimidation of the Local kind . . .

Intimidation of the 'local kind'

A brief meaning of Intimidation which can sometimes sadly be persistent: offensive, abusive, insulting behaviour which can be in both physical and verbal form

We have already discussed Intimidation on a larger scale or relating to larger Companies threatening smaller Companies but what we forget sometimes is the intimidation that goes on within our daily lives. Sadly, both Children and Adults can be the instigators of this type of negative behaviour, and in many cases, until caught or indeed taught otherwise, these individuals seem to feel this kind of behaviour is acceptable. However, one of the saddest things about this type of behaviour is that Adults are often the individuals who instill in their children that this type of behaviour is considered acceptable.

Often this form of intimidation, for the moment let's classify them as :

1. 'Individual intimidation' 

This can be initiated or triggered on line, or on a one to one basis within Schools, Playgrounds, Public Parks, The home, in the Workplace and even on a bus or train. 

 2. Group or 'Tribal Intimidation' 

This can often be triggered sometimes by just one person who then tries hard to encourage others on board or in Groups/Sets of Individuals and can be experienced in School, The Playground, Public Parks, High School, College, University, within the Workplace, At Public and Closed Events, Public transport, Leisure Centres as well as many other places where the Public gather or Groups Gather.

Let us dissect No 1, please, feel free to comment or add any of your experiences or thoughts to this post and just in case you do not wish to put your own name to the post you do have the option of signing it as anonymous, or perhaps you would prefer to send an email regarding your thoughts and we can add them accordingly.

The online Intimidator generally only feels brave to type, what can be, cruel words from behind a screen (Individual intimidation). Yet if you come across these particular individuals on a one to one basis or on a street they would not have the confidence to either face you, talk to you or indeed walk at the same side of the street as you, in fact they would more than probably cross to the other side of the road, unless of course they are in their known Group (Group intimidation) or within a Group that they have encouraged to act in a similar manner. However, often the victim of such behaviour chooses to cross the road before the abuser! If the Victim could try hard to have the confidence to stay at their chosen side of the street but perhaps just walk closer to another pedestrian at the time of passing the abuser, even although by this time the abuser will more than probably have walked across the other side by this time any way

Children, teenagers, 'vulnerable' and  individuals who lack in confidence or who have perhaps had a knock in confidence for what ever reason sadly seem to be the main victims suffering from cyber bullying, there are many sites on line that can help with this so do not be frightened to type your specific questions in to Chief Inspector Google, here is one link http://nobullying.com/bullying-uk-2015/ that could be useful.

But what are the signs of cyber bullying – Your child or a child you know may show signs of

• Being withdrawn
• A change of his/her known behavoiur 
• Being anxious 
• Wishing to stay at home more or being around you more 
• Signs of depression, teary, angry, subdued 
• Aggression 
• Sleeping issues 
• Change in eating habits – eating more or less 
• Bed wetting 
• Wanting to miss school 
• Showing signs of Truancy 
• Nightmares 
• Takes more risks 
• Self Harms (in more areas than one)
• Obsessive behaviour 

An interesting link on the impact of bullying for not just the victim but the bully themselves as well as bystanders and the families of both the victim and the bully can be found at this link http://www.education.vic.gov.au/about/programs/bullystoppers/Pages/impact.aspx within this link there are also additional links that can guide/advise parents towards the next step in solving issues such as these. 

When it comes to children or students it is imperative to try and resolve these issues earlier rather than later on in life, so, if you know of any child who is showing any of the above signs please advise their next of kin or someone within their family who you can trust to resolve this painstaking and extremely upsetting experience for any youngster to experience. After all, if an individual can learn to cope with issues at an earlier age then their confidence to cope with issues in their future life as an adult will be easier and much more encouraging for others.

So let's go to the next stage up from the playground, let's say one child falls out with another, the normal way to resolve this would be to find out what happened from both sides and a conclusion and apology is made to either party, or both, and suggestions made if such an event was to happen again. However, some parents feel their children do no wrong and only their story is correct. In this instance often there are signs of hostility, bad mouthing, intimidating comments made, but worse still these are often said in front of the child, which, at the end of the day, also plants the seed that they (the child) in the future, can behave like this, then all of a sudden, let's say the possessive parent has 4 children playing, then all of a sudden you have the potential of 4 more youngters growing in to being intimidating individuals or becoming participants of for example Hostile Aggressive Parenting - http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/symptoms_of_hap.asp and all because one of their parents showed them that this type of behaviour is seen as acceptable in front of others! 

Another common reason, is snobbery sadly, some parents feel they are better than others, which is often, not the case. This is an issue that rises its' ugly head quite frequently, but which in many cases should be resolved or a half way house met and each individuals circumstance taken in to consideration. The other children and Adults who can go through a difficult time are those from one parent families, once again this is not the child, children's or the Adults fault and their situation should be given understanding and perhaps a little extra thought regarding what it must feel like for them all. 

Above all we need to remember we are all human, we all have a heart, we all have a history, sometimes sad, sometimes difficult, Some have too much, some have too little. More often than not it's those who have little who have the biggest heart and those who have too much who consider themselves on a different planet and who make things awkward for others or make others perhaps worse off than themselves, feel uncomfortable. We are all brought in to the world in the same way just as we go out the same way and in real terms we are alive for such a short period of time, wouldn't it just be wonderful if all could accept each other on an equal level without the 'intentional divisions created by greed'

Back on to intimidation - Perhaps you know someone who is being intimidated at work – if so here are another couple of handy links  http://nobullying.com/intimidation-at-work-choosing-to-not-be-a-victim/      http://www.kickbully.com/basic.html This link has a number of positive actions to take whether the bullying is going on in the workplace or elsewhere, worthwhile taking a look.

But the most important thing to know is how to handle such situations as they present themselves. Of course each and every situation is going to be slightly different but at the core there is the same feelings, although different, experienced by both the victim and the abuser, so what can you, as a child or even as an adult do to prevent this or indeed protect yourself and others from what can become repeated experiences from such individuals.

If you bite to an abusers bait then they will probably give you more hassle, but on the other hand, human behaviour can be similar to that of fishing, if you put some bait down for a fish, the fish will bite just as a human will. Granted no one knows what triggers an abuser, and it may well be something that you did not do, but there will be something rest assured, so, firstly if you sense something try not to irritate the issue any further. If something has triggered the abuser, the abuser will then start to feed off your reaction leading to further verbal abuse or indeed physical abuse just like a dry sponge soaks up water. In fact often these types of people, once something has triggered them, tend to stick together, live within a close proximity from others of this sort, which can sadly result in 'Group Bullying or Tribal' bullying/manipulation/bribery/intimidation/hostility towards youngsters and adults.

Group or Tribal bullying adds another dimension on to individuals who they have decided to attack. Their behaviour can prevent the victims from going to Public events, Group events, Social gatherings, Sports centres and similar venues. This is a tricky situation but again, as long as you are amongst friends or another Group of individuals do not feel threatened by the negative group as once again evidence can be experienced and seen by others. Perhaps mention, on the quiet, to a couple of trusting members of your Group that you are anxious and they will give you the extra support you need. If you find yourself going in to a shop and they are there, don't worry, again you have the shop staff to back you up especially if you are on your own.

However, with this Group also comes another Group, the Group who do not have the confidence to stand against the negative Group or indeed the confidence to support the sufferer of abuse, yes, you've got it, the type that would rather keep the peace. In a way this second Group almost gives confidence to the first Group with the added thought that they are right, when in fact they are wrong and sadly giving the negative Group additional feeling of 'Power'. You often find these negative types of Groups commenting on Facebook, or on Facebook Grouped pages, but more often than not the Administrators of the Groups stop negative attitude and comments, at least until the next time. So all in all it doesn't take much to see what these negative Groups are made of. Especially the 'behind the screen bravado' type  of Group

So now to some suggestions of how to handle such situations.

1. Stay calm 
2. Do not bite to their bait 
3. Where possible you will need evidence, so practice putting your phone or ipod on record without being seen by the abuser or ask a friend to quietly do this but do not tell or show the abuser that you are doing this at any stage. 
4. Give the abuser and yourself some space, the more in the face you go to them the more they will react. 
5. Walk with friends, genuine friends, like minded folk, caring individuals 
6. Walk quietly in to the nearest shop or public place and ask to use their phone to call someone, or say, can I stay in here for a minute because I am a bit anxious. 
7. Warn others of trigger points 
8. Stay calm and do not return until the problem is resolved or unless you have sufficient back up to support you. 
9. Do not hesitate to call the Police, especially if you have evidence or ask someone else to phone the police, but having evidence from a previous experience would be advantageous or at least the names of a couple of witnesses. 

But above all, no matter how much you might have been threatened, at some stage, it is much better to tell someone, whether it be a member of your family, a friend, your Doctor or indeed the Police. But for the Police, to have evidence would give a much quicker response. 

Also remember, you are not on your own, thousands of people are attacked in this way, and stopping one abuser could save hundreds of others from experiencing what you have experienced. We need to try and prevent abusers from doing this to others and often it is only with the help of adults as well as the Law that can reduce such dreadful and damaging crimes happening.

It would be wonderful if we could change the abusers or predators towards being protectors . . . so perhaps, just perhaps we should take a little time to understand why this type of an individual is so aggressive or sensitive. There are ways of doing this but they can be fairly complex.

In the meantime some of the following reasons could be why they react so; 

1. A controlling up bringing
2. Too free a rein when young, or a childhood without boundaries
3. Rebelliousness due to a lack of understanding of their needs when they were younger
4. Feeling of lack of self worth
5. Bullied themselves in earlier life
6. Abusive parent(s)
7. Lack of parent guidance perhaps due to both working.
8. Alcohol/drug usage within the family circle
9. Their personal hang up from an experience in their past
10. Their lack of respect for what is acceptable and what is not
11. Their lack of respect for listening to reason
12. Their lack of experience or understanding of problem solving strategies from an early age 

But the most important thing is clear – they have a massive lack of respect for humans and that all living creatures have a right to share this planet/playpark/activities or whatever the venue with all.

Often once the younger bullies are re-directed it's generally found they have massive hearts and just need a little extra understanding and careful support. 

When it comes to older teenagers or adults, then this type of an abuser is a bit more difficult to re-direct purely because they have got away with controlling their life, parents, families, wife, children and even their work colleagues and employees for so long resulting in little or no respect for anyone. Or perhaps they have held a controlling position within their workplace. But the one way they can be and should be brought in to check is proof, yes proof that they have said and done what you said they had said and done. Which is where recording on the q.t. comes in and the Law can take over. Even worse still however are those who are in Power or in the limelight – such positions can also breed a nasty variety. Often victims from this type of an abuser are too frightened to say or do anything, when in their heart of hearts they know they should but perhaps due to threats, or bribery they are encouraged to keep quiet, at least until someone else is strong enough to take their case forward.

What ever the case, no one has to put up with abuse, whether it be verbal, psychological or indeed physical. So, find a friend or member of the family or even your local MSP or Doctor, speak to them and help prevent others from experiencing what you have experienced.

So, the final message in this little post is, 

Stay strong, stay calm and keep track of all evidence and prevent others from going through the same. 

Intimidating behaviour (WHITE)
Potential signs that someone is  a Victim of negative behaviour/(ORANGE)
In brief - How to resolve the issues (GREEN AND YELLOW)

Perhaps a little message for all who feel intimidated or find themselves in a situation they can not get away from, rather than reacting go for the softly softly approach, perhaps these bullet points might help; 

The other form of Intimidation, Bullying and Manipulation also often goes on within families where one of the partners is suffering from issues such as Vascular Dementia/Alzheimer's but this we will go in to in another post. This can have horrific consequences on the sufferer and, sadly in many cases goes on unseen, or behind closed doors leaving the victim feeling ; inadequate, useless, frightened, isolated even more than normal, as if he/she is walking on egg shells with the feeling he/she needs to hide in his/her room, only appearing when shouted on or called for.

Don't you use treats for solving animal problems?

One of the many comments made during sessions when we go and solve animal issues is 'don't you use treats (as in food treats) to get the animals to stop their problem'  and our answer is ' The only time we give a 'food' treat is occasionally at the end of each session or if there is an animal so scared or scarred from human kind otherwise it is always 50/50 communication. 

As many of the owners have said ' we can't believe what you have done for our animals, within such a short period of time, it's amazing ' or 

Dogs

• We have never seen our animals respond so quickly
• We have never seen our dog so calm 
• We have never seen our dog connect so well
• We have never seen our dog actually genuinely ask for something in a way that is silently understood by all, with out verbal acknowledgment
• Our dog never plays yet you have shown them how to play after years of their whole life of not playing
• Our dog actually listens to us now, not necessarily by using our voice but by using specific eye commands
• Our dog used to chase things yet you have managed to find their natural forte which re-directs their initial thought of 'chasing' to concentration of the tool in mouth or simply by us changing our own body language
• Our dog used to have the runs all the time and after many hours at the Vets with no results we asked if you could take a look and after 36 hours and feeding him what you suggested his stools are solid

Horses/Cows/Bulls

• Our horse used to bull doze us but now he listens
• Our horse never used to like being stabled but now is the first one to come in
• Our horse used to be petrified of this or that, yet you have solved it
• Our horse used to hate being put in to a trailer for years, but after one session you solved it
• Our horse had skin issues but after one Session and listening to your suggestions the skin issue has gone
• Our horse used  to buck as soon as your foot went in to the stirrup but after a couple of Sessions he soon realised that it wasn't so bad after all.
• Our horse used to hate having his hooves picked up but after one session this issue was solved
• Our horse used to have watery stools but after changing his diet they looked like normal horse stools
• Our Show  Bull had major skin issues prior to a Show but after changing his food and lathering him in an ointment suggested by you he was able to go to the Show after all .
• We asked you to train a bull for a sale, the friendly way and you did it - we were amazed

"ALL WITH OUT USING FOOD as a tool - Amazing and it has taught us to do the same . . "

So what is it or how do you do it? is generally the next question and our answer is - by using the most powerful language of our universe and it's called 'Universal language'  Every animal has its' own key, it's own forte and it's all about tapping in to that at the correct second and not a minute later or indeed a minute earlier. 

Please give all your animals  this chance before they could become controlling of you or your family or before the bribery introduced creates a corrupt animal resulting in false trust and a nip or a kick or head but. On behalf of many misunderstood animals, thank you for taking time to read this post.

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Sunder " Am I dreaming"

"I have never been here before, I haven't been beaten for ages, or hurt for a while either, what's up, this is so foreign to me, wonder what's going to happen next, it seems all too good to be true, all these faces I don't know, I sense a few unusually caring hearts, or is this just my dream come true, or am I sleeping , dreaming or imagining I am going to pastures new, no, surely this can't be true, is it, can someone reassure me I am not dreaming, or am I in heaven.

My days and nights, every minute, every second for years I have dreamt of this moment, wow, where am I going, I sense an air of warmth around me, like a barrier of protection, but invisible protection, who's doing this, how is it happening, maybe there are some people and animals out there that really care, are they sending me protection? I like it, but am frightened to like it' please, someone reassure me.

If I shut my eyes, and open them again, will I be back in that dingy shed, in darkness, rocking form side to side, dreading those footsteps and the beatings . . someone please reassure me.

If it's true, if I wake up somewhere new, I might get over excited and not know what to do, please forgive me if I do, I will settle, I just need time and the right key to help me, but I sense there are others to guide me, but no beatings, I am bruised and ache enough"

Thank you one and all.

Abused elephant Sunder

Save Sunder the Elephant  For updates this is a wonderful facebook page dedicated to Sunder's safety - - 

Sunder on his way to . . .

Apparently the above has brought tears to a few people, our founder sent a reply to one of them and we feel we should share it here for those who do not have access to facebook :


"Sorry Margaret, I didn't mean to make you cry, but poor Sunder has been crying for years, but the tears you shed now are not yours, they are his, his release of disbelief . . . many people will shed many a tear, but rest assured, they are ours and his of happiness and disbelief. As long as he is now treated on a 50/50 communication level and understanding then he will be happy just as we all will be. He deserves the rest of his life in a special place to make up for the turmoill and the aches and pains he has had right through to the core of his heart, bone and muscle. Bless him and all those who have helped him both physically, in an official and spiritual manner, without he would still be in his painfully dreaded shed. Without 50/50 many a living creature suffers, they all need help or /and all their carers need to learn how to communicate on a 50/50 level. And as a final little note for Sunder, we have given you so many scratches and here, is a specially big one for coping with your journey or your new chapter in your book of life".

Sunder has arrived . . . amazing . . . here is a link to a video of him sitting under a tree, under the sunshine with a lot of natural foliage and food around his trunk . another few weeks should see a change in him, perhaps his massive smile today will be superseded by an even larger smile from hip bone to hip bone.  


Here is the link to our original post on Sunder, it pin points sore areas and some of his thoughts.